Looking For Comfortable Supervision.

When my son Alex worked for a private small computer company on the Monterey Peninsula, and he was responsible for hiring new staff, he always asked the new applicants what sort of supervision they would feel most comfortable. One of the potential candidates to be hired answered, “I always thought that Superman’s X-ray vision would be very cool!”

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Sizable Donation.

The church secretary answered the phone and heard the caller say, “I want to talk to the chief hog.” “Excuse me, that’s no way to talk about Reverand.  He is the pastor of this great church.” “I’m sorry, I wanted to donate one hundred thousand dollars to your church,” said the caller. “One moment, here comes the big fat pig,” the church secretary said.

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Getting His Way.

When my friend Eugene and I came to the church we found the Sunday sermon heavily going. Eugene still feeling hung over and tired from the night before we were celebrating his book being published, he eventually nodded off partway through. The preacher watched this with disgust, and at the end of the sermon decided to make an example of the man. “All those wishing to have a place in Heaven, please stand,” the preacher said to the congregation. The whole church stood up, except the sleeping man. Then the preacher loudly announced, “All those who would like a place in hell, please stand up.” Only catching the last part, the sleeping man rose to his feet. Confused and embarrassed to see that the rest of the congregation were seated, the man said, “I don’t know what we are voting on here, but it seems preacher like you and I are the only ones in favor.”

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Developing My Son Character.

Trying to develop my young son’s character, I gave my son Alex one dollar and five dollars as Alex was leaving for Sunday school. “You put the one bill you want in the offering plate,” I said. When Alex was back home, I asked him which bill he gave. “Before they sent around the plate the teacher said, “Lord loves a cheerful giver”. I knew I could give one dollar a lot more cheerfully than I could give five dollars. So, I gave one dollar,” replied Alex.

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Our Human Behavior.

After my business partner Annie and I had a big argument, we ended up not talking to each other for several days. On the seventh day, as we were preparing to work with a new group of parents how to deal with their young children misbehavior, and various other issues, and how to handle them in the right way, Annie asked me where I put the questionnaire, we have created two weeks ago to work with a new group of parents. “Oh, now you are speaking to me!” That’s how I reacted. Annie looked confused. “What are you talking about?” “Haven’t you noticed that I didn’t speak to you for six days?” I challenged her. “No, I thought we were getting along quite well,” Annie said with her beautiful big smile.

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Grandpa Birthday Present.

My daughter-in-law Karin’s grandfather Joel at age 94 has the most basic needs and very few wants. Last March my son Alex and his wife Karin hoping to get a little help in choosing a suitable birthday gift for Joel, asked what he would like for his birthday. His answer was, “Nothing.” “Grandpa, but that is what we gave you last year,” said Karin. “I am still using it,” answered Grandpa Joel.

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Survey About Having Children.

On a demographics survey we teachers were giving at high schools in Kirkland and Bellevue, Washington the students were asked, “What disadvantages do you see in having children? The majority of their answers were, “It is expensive to raise children these days.” and “Children demand a lot of attention and time to spend with them.” One person was not worried about money, or responsibility, or time. This person simply wrote, “When I decide I want to have children, I will buy a SUV and drive it.”

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Finding Employment.

After several months of fruitless searching for work, my friend George who is a high school drop-out and he already worked in 25 places from which he quit, or he was laid off ran across a job position in the employment section George found on the internet that he knew he was definitely qualified to be hired without any questions. The posting read: “Position filled by a male or a female only!”

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Discussing Effects Of Nature.

During one of my speaking classes at the Defense Language Institute, students were divided in two small groups asking each other questions and giving answers on the topics of natural disasters and climate change which were the two out of the eighty topics students were required by the program to discuss. An Army student Roger asked a Marine student Ty, “What is the first of the senses one loses when stuck by lighting? The Marine student Ty took a long pause, then smiled and replied, “I will say, probably the sense of humor.”

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Teaching ESL Classes.

At the Monterey Peninsula College where I taught four classes English as a Second Language my students worked really very hard, and were appreciative for my motivation, encouragement and teaching techniques I was using while teaching them. Gianna paid me a compliment when she said, “You teach English beyond good!” Andre assured me, “I will always forget you!” And Jillian insisted, “I thank you from the heart of my bottom.”

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