Failing To Protect My Friend.

My friend Shloyma who was the groom and his best man Chaim were sitting together at the table, playing poker in a small room at the back of the newly renovated synagogue where the ceremony had to take place. Their jackets were off, sleeves were rolled up and each of them was viewing the cards in hand. I was so to say guarding them. Suddenly the door swung open, and the bride Sarah came in. “What do you think you are doing here? The ceremony is about to begin!” Sarah was speaking in a very loud voice. “Honey, you know it is bad luck for the groom to see the bride before the wedding,” Shloyma replied and looked in my direction because I miserably failed to protect him.

Posted in humor every day | Tagged | Leave a comment

Special Farewell Dinner.

I was invited to a special farewell dinner party in honor of my two very dedicated retiring colleagues Dr. Gordon Jackson and Stefan Koppany who after thirty-five years of civil service each of them gave to teaching, research and administrative duties at the Defense Language Institute, and finally were retiring. Food and drinks were in abundance. Unfortunately, Stefan who was very emotional had too many drinks. Feeling drowsy, the poor man sank back into his armchair and barely whispered, “I am sorry. I don’t feel good repeating it several times. I have to go into screen saver mode.”

Posted in humor every day | Tagged | Leave a comment

Teaching ESL.

My ESL classes very enjoyable to me as a Second and Foreign Language teacher who studied four foreign languages myself, in addition to my two natives, and for a variety of the students who attend my classes. This was a special group of students at the Lake Washington Institute of Technology in Kirkland. They tried and studied really hard, and were so appreciative for my teaching them listening, reading. writing, speaking and idioms in American English. So, they decided to express their gratitude and asked me to join them for lunch in my honor. One student paid me a compliment when she said, “You teach English awfully good.” Another student assured me, “I will always, always forget you.” The quintessential came from the third student who said, “I thank you from the heart of my bottom.”

Posted in humor every day | Tagged | Leave a comment

Imperfect Fishing.

As usually early Saturday morning Josh and I went fishing in the Monterey Bay. After fishing for eight hours without a single nibble, Josh a very experienced fisherman said, “We all know the saying – give a man a fish, he will eat for a day, teach a man to fish, he will eat for a lifetime. Am I right?” I agreed, quietly nodding. Then Josh continued, “Whoever said it, I am sure, wasn’t a fisherman.”

Posted in humor every day | Tagged | Leave a comment

Toys For The World Today.

Being with my friend Neal and his two young children in a toy store, as an educator I skeptically examined a new educational toy as it was advertised on the counter “Our Newest Toys.” “Isn’t it rather complicated for a small boy?” I inquired of the salesclerk who suddenly approached us ready to help. “It is designed to adjust a child to live in today’s world,” the clerk replied with a broad smile. “No matter how a child tries to put this toy together is wrong.”

Posted in humor every day | Tagged | Leave a comment

Depositing Check At Chase Branch.

It was the first mild day in Kirkland, Washington after some unusual and really cold spell lasting two weeks at this time of the year which is fall in the Northwest. I came to the Chase Branch in Totem Lake Village which is located a few blocks from where I live to deposit a check in my checking account. The bank teller Mischa who assisted me on multiple occasions started a small talk with me while feeling out the form before depositing the check. “It is nice to have it well above zero again, isn’t it?” she remarked broadly smiling. I froze giving the bank teller Mischa an icy stare, and then I broke into laughter. “I am sorry,” I said. “For a moment I thought that you meant my checking account.”

Posted in humor every day | Tagged | Leave a comment

Street Accident.

I was walking a busy street downtown Kirkland minding my own business, when a car skidded to an abrupt stop. Someone behind me screamed, “Look at that awful sight splatted all over the inside of the windshield!” As I approached the car, I asked the man sitting behind the wheel, “Are you badly hurt?” “Nah, but my favorite and delicious pizza I have just purchased for a party is a mess!” he replied sadly.

Posted in humor every day | Tagged | Leave a comment

Giving Dirty Looks.

Two weeks ago, late in the evening I decided to pick up some produce at a recently opened in our neighborhood very popular small store always packed with customers. Uncertain that it would still be open, I called the store. “What time do you close?” I asked the person who answered the phone. There was a moment of hesitation then the person said, “We close at nine p.m., but we start giving dirty looks at a quarter of nine.”

Posted in humor every day | Tagged | Leave a comment

Getting Money To Buy Souvenirs.

As we browsed in the popular for tourists’ gift shop in Monterey, my son Alex who was eleven and daughter Irene who was eight, asked me to buy nearly everything they saw. I tried to discourage them. I kept repeating, “It is all junk. You don’t need it.” Nevertheless, they continued to beg. Finally, I gave each of them ten dollars and told to buy whatever souvenirs they wanted. “Have you chosen the items you like?” I asked a few minutes later. Keeping their money tightly, they both answered, “It is all junk. Let us go.”

Posted in humor every day | Tagged | Leave a comment

Getting Shopping Cart.

As I entered the neighborhood Safeway supermarket in Kirkland, not far from where I live, I noticed there were only two shopping carts available, and they were jammed together so tightly they looked like one cart. I saw a man came behind me who also needed a cart. As I held to the handle of one cart, the man went to the front and pulled the other. The carts remained stuck. Then the man held tight while I tried to separate the carts. Again, there was no luck. I suggested we both pull on the carts tug-of-war style. A woman who was through the checkout line saw us and came up. “You don’t need to fight over a cart. One of you can take my cart,” the woman said as she took her packed goods and headed to the store exit.

Posted in humor every day | Tagged | Leave a comment